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The Coventry Accent


The Coventry skylineI went to an interesting talk yesterday about my adoptedhome town’s accent and where it came from. Apparently there are four lines ofargument about the Coventry accent which, when put together, don’t make a lotof sense.The local accent is rare and rather special. It’sdefinitely not a Birmingham (Brummie), or Black Country – Dudley, Wolverhampton– accent.Coventrians don’t really speak with an accent(unlike those unfortunate people who live in Birmingham or the Black Country)The accent is terrible (but it’s better thanhaving a Brummie accent)The accent is getting worse, because youngpeople are lazy (even in Coventry).The speaker then went on the unpick each of theseassertio...
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 29 ‘The Rock Star’


‘Look,’ said the Rock Star, ‘she’s awake.’Inteachán opened her eyes.‘Where am I,’ she asked the Rock Star. His eyes were hidden behind giant sunglasses.‘Where we want you to be,’ he replied. The Rock Star smiled.‘We know all about you, Inteachán,’ he sneered, ‘and your silly baby quest to save the world.’Inteachán didn’t respond. The Rock Star continued.‘We know you are the puppet of that old doddering fool of a professor. He says where and you race off on your fool’s errands.’Inteachán still didn’t respond. The Rock Star loomed large over her.‘Mac may think he knows what is going on but let me tell you he hasn’t got a clue.’Original link
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 28 ‘A Pair of Cowboy Boots’


Inteachán found herself slipping into a noise-induced daze.She felt weak and tearful. The high-pitched noise surrounded her now, bathing her in pain.Through slowly unfocussing eyes Inteachán could see that the fox had now slumped to the pavement.‘I’ve got to get away,’ she strained. ‘I need to find somewhere to hide from the sound.’But there was nowhere and Inteachán began to pass out.The last thing she saw was a pair of cowboy boots standing next to her head.Original link
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Scary Snippets Halloween Anthology


Scary Snippets: Halloween EditionCopyright © 2019 by Suicide House PublishingEdited by: N.M. BrownCover design by: Kyle HarrisonFirst Edition: October 2019A delightful collection of new urban legends, thematically based around Halloween customs and history. The word length of these short stories is just right, each story is easy to read at one sitting, but unlike flash fiction collections that restrict writers to a strict one hundred words, the five hundred word limit allows the writers to use imagery to make the tales more ornate and provides scope for some rudimentary character development. While there are some straight out murder stories, and trick or treating activities, I was pleased to...
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 27 ‘The Fox began to Howl’


The city at night is a dark and dangerous place. Revelers and ruffians vie for space. People die in dirty alleys while others walk past and laugh.Inteachán could handle the city. She knew where to walk and when. Day. Night. It was all the same to her.Inteachán turned right onto Charles Street Great. St Margaret’s Avenue was just up ahead. She stopped.A large fox was rooting through a plastic bag full of rubbish.The city was full of foxes and Inteachán knew she was perfectly safe.Suddenly the fox stopped what it was doing and Inteachán saw it wince. Shaking its head from side to side the fox began to howl.Inteachán crouched into the shadows and as she did so she could feel a pressure building...
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 26 ‘The Suicide Plot’


‘Why Croke Park?’ asked Inteachán. ‘Isn’t that rather a strange place for the Summoning to be started?’‘Not at all’, replied Mac. ‘As you know, Croke Park stands in Ballybough and Ballybough is one of the darkest parts of Dublin.’Mac looked at Inteachán.‘There is an old cemetery in Ballybough where the City’s undesirables used to be buried. Thieves, robbers, highwaymen and suicide victims, hence the name, the Suicide Plot.’ ‘The worst thing of all,’ continued Mac, ‘was that each corpse had a stake driven through its heart so that they couldn’t further bother the residents.’Original link
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 25 ‘An Ancient Ley Line’


Inteachán placed another piece of bread on her fork and began to toast it on the open fire while Mac spoke.‘There is an ancient ley line called St. Michael which extends out from Ireland into Europe and then the Middle East. This line intersects with various sacred sites dedicated to the saint himself.The most famous amplification point for this particular line is Skellig Michael, the rock that stands in the Atlantic Ocean. Unbeknown to everyone but a few, Croke Park is another amplification point.’Mac shifted in his armchair and Inteachán felt a slight shadow descend.‘If the Horn is blown at such a point of amplification then who knows what will happen next.’Mac looked at Inteachán.‘It won’...
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 24 ‘The Biggest Band in the World’


‘But there’s nothing in the box,’ said Inteachán.‘I know,’ said Mac, ‘but I needed to be finally sure.’Mac looked concerned. This made Inteachán feel concerned as well.‘Tomorrow night at Croke Park the biggest band in the world will be performing in front of 80 000 people.’Inteachán had seen posters for this everywhere. Lots of hats and large sunglasses.‘At the climax of the set the lead singer intends to blow the Horn of Donn Cuailnge and start the first part of the Summoning.’‘The Summoning?’ asked Inteachán.Mac smiled.‘I haven’t got time to tell you everything now,’ he said. ‘Suffice to say we need for that Horn to not be blown.’Original link
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 23 ‘The Fomhóire’s Howl’


Inteachán starts to climb the slippery rope. Her small arms are strong. She pulls herself hand over hand. What was once a simple sigh is now a deafening shriek. A shriek that will consume her if Inteachán doesn’t get away.The rope sways violently. Inteachán climbs faster. The shriek swells again and now starts to fill the night. With a final kick Inteachán is free of the darkness. Quickly now she unties the rope and lets it fall to be swallowed by the Fomhóire’s howl.Original link
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 22 ‘A Gentle Sigh’


Inteachán squeezes past the web to reach the altar from behind. She reaches towards the box.Something stirs in the darkness. A gentle sigh. Inteachán knows this sound.‘Fomhóire,’ she says softly to herself. ‘I’d better be quick.’She gently lifts the box and places it in her rucksack. The sigh is getting louder now. Like gas escaping from a valve.Inteachán reaches the rope as the sound gets louder and louder. The small space begins to fill with noise.Original link
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 21 ‘Into the Darkness’


Inteachán slowly climbs down the rope. Into the darkness. The bowels of the earth. Where all the secrets are.Inteachán is not afraid. She breathes slowly as she descends. Her feet gently touch the ground. She stands still and listens. The darkness engulfs her like a damp blanket.Listen. There is water dripping somewhere. A steady stream. Inteachán switches her torch on. The thin beam of light fills with swimming dust.A small chamber. Filled with broken pottery. A wide spider has strung a web between two small pillars. There is an altar between them. On the altar is the box. This is what Inteachán came for.Original link
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 20 ‘The Horn of Donn Cuailnge’


‘The Horn of Donn Cuailnge is the first part of the ceremony used to summon the Five Kings.’Mac opens his Miscellanea.‘I found the instructions to this ceremony years ago. They were scratched onto the back of a moss-covered gravestone lost in the ruins of Rhincrew Abbey.‘The Abbey was founded by Raymond Le Gros as a Preceptory for the Knights Templar in 1183 by a certain Anglo-Norman called Raymond Le Gros.Sent to Ireland by Strongbow, Le Gros famously routed an Irish army by driving a herd of cattle straight into it.’Mac pauses.‘The abbey derives its name from the Irish ‘Rinn-iru’ which translates as ‘The Point of Blood.’’Mac smiles.‘A suitable place, one might consider, for something so fo...
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 19 ‘The Dream of the NotBeSpeak’


‘Fatally, however, our unableness to live in the Past, Present and future at once will likely bring about our downfall as a planet. This is because the NotBeSpeak can. This is how they have always existed.Here’s the thing. Though they have always existed it is only now that the conditions are right for them to act. And act they will. Here is their plan. Scattered across Ireland are five tombs. Each of these tombs contains the relics of the Five Kings of Connaught; Cathal, Conchobar, Feidhlim, Ruaidhrí and Tairrdelbach.On their own, they are nothing more than bone and dust. But if these separate bones are brought together a new body forms, one so terrible that the end of the world is absolute...
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 18 ‘The Three Tiers of Change’


‘The Three Tiers of Change are the normal state of affairs for the world and are what allows the status quo to be maintained, even allowing for the occasional wobbles along the way.From the world’s perspective the separation of these three tiers has always been a good thing. We humans are not temperamentally equipped to occupy all three tiers of time at the same time. If you don’t believe me then try dwelling in the past, living for the moment and also looking forward to something yet to happen. All at once.’Original link
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 17 ‘The Here? The Now?’


‘Past-Change is what has been. History? You could say that but nothing is ever that simple.We understand Present-Change in terms of what is. The here? The now? The immediate?Future-Change is best understood in terms of what will be. What lies ahead? The shape of things to come? The minute after the minute it takes to read this sentence.’As a race we humans either dwell in the past, refusing to let go of what has gone before. Or we live for the moment, happy to acknowledge the ever-changing nature of our existence. Failing either of these two, we look forward to things, projecting our thoughts and desires to a time that has yet to occur.’Original link
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 16 ‘Between Two Books’


‘The NotBeSpeak walk among us now. As always. There are five of them and they are currently devoid of physical form. The NotBeSpeak are in-between. Liminal.The thought that flutters briefly before dimming to die not formed.The space you see between two books on the same shelf where another one wouldn’t fit.The something you do not hear as the sound of it jostles your eardrum.The shadow cast you cannot see for the angle of its origin.Were you to know where to look and, more importantly, were able to comprehend it, you would gradually come to understand that the influence of the NotBeSpeak can most properly be understood in terms of the Three Tiers of Change; Past-Change, Present-Change and Fu...
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 15 ‘A Terrible Plot’


‘In the course of completing my Miscellanea I have recently uncovered a terrible plot to destroy the entire world.From what little information I have so far been able to glean this terrible plot has always been in existence but the recent well-documented disasters in Ireland’s economy have created certain conditions by which the architects of this terrible plot have been able to revive their dreadful ambitions. Or had their ambitions revived for them?As you can hear, I am still not totally clear. I may not know everything yet but I know enough to know that I need to tell you all about the NotBeSpeak.’Original link
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 14 ‘A Matter of Great Urgency’


‘Listen’, says Mac. ‘While Inteachán is away I need to speak to you all on a matter of great urgency.’He stops writing and looks up from his desk.‘I am a very old man and I need to tell you some really important things straightaway. Otherwise the events you are about to read about will make very little sense. There is no time to lose.’ He pauses.‘I tell you all everything now then I won’t have to go through everything again when Inteachán gets back. I don’t have enough time to keep repeating myself.’Original link
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Inteachán – Book One: The Song of the NotBeSpeak 1: 13 ‘Tain Bo Cuailnge’


A plan cooked up by wife and husband to steal a sacred bull called Donn Cuailnge. A royal wife and husband. Queen Mebh of Connaught. King Ailill. Legend surrounding legend but legend has it that a bull’s horn went missing. And has never been found.Queen Mebh’s cairn stands atop Knocknarea and Inteachán crept towards it in the night. She stopped to grab a stone and put it in her pocket.Apparently, it is bad luck to remove a stone from the cairn but good luck to leave one there. Inteachán needed all the luck she could get.The lock on the gate was no match for Inteachán and she glided past the bars and into the shadows.Earth. Water. Urine. All tombs smell the same.Original link
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Fact and Fiction


Novels do not have to be factually accurate, we can add characters to real events, additional streets to real towns and, of course, events that never actually happened. Or we can make everything up by creating a complete fictional world completely free from time and place constraints. The actual truth doesn’t matter – just so long as the characters, geography and events ring true for the reader – although historical novelists probably have less freedom – the wrong type of gun, or dress style can ruin a story for some readers.On the other hand, non-fiction, as it seeks to educate thereader, must be as accurate. Fiction writers rely on their non-fictioncolleagues to do the research so that the...
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