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Barrow Girl – Tomb Raider meets the Book of Kells – Chapter Two

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Barrow Girl Chapter 2 This is the story of a twelve year-old girl called Inteachán and the things she does. Inteachán does these things because she is very good at doing them. You might say that she was born to do them. You might also say that she has no choice. Either way you would be right. Inteachán does what she does because she has to. Or else the world will end. Simple as. Inteachán does not always see things this way. Sometimes she likes to pretend that she is simply ordinary. Uneventful. Unnoticed, even, but someone this discreet can never really exist in a book that bears their name. Perhaps this is something to ask her if you ever get the chance? The things that Inteachán does are ...
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Barrow Girl – Tomb Raider meets the Book of Kells – Chapter One

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Barrow Girl Chapter One A dark and filthy night. Black as black. Like Evil settled as an inviolable sheath. A foul wind keens. In the darkness of the distance sits a small mound barely-glimpsed from here. A lonely tree bent double on top and aching from the endless torment of its exposure. Nothing is abroad. Nor ever should be. No one walks on a night like this. But wait. A small figure stands next to the tree. Delicate amid the destruction. Gently lifting a large flat stone with a rusty crowbar. Carefully looping a rope around the waist of another stone. Tying it off. Lowering the other end into a small black hole that leers like a baleful eye in the frightening night. Pulling the rope. Tes...
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Opening Lines No. 1 – Cursor (Barnaby Taylor, 2018)

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Cursor (Barnaby Taylor, 2018) In this age of fear, famine and fundamentalism who could ever have known that the world would end because too many people were not careful enough when typing into search engines. [contact-form] Original link
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The Professor Dunne Mysteries, ‘The Simple Matter of the Elusive Illusionist’ – Introducing Joxer Flanagan

THE PROFESSOR DUNNE MYSTERIES - the Elusive Illusionist
The Professor Dunne Mysteries, Book One, ‘The Simple Matter of the Elusive Illusionist’ Chapter 5 Sandra woke up. ‘I don’t know about anyone else,’ she said, ‘but I could really eat something.’ Chuck looked in his rear-view mirror. ‘Absolutely, Sweetheart,’ he said. ‘I was just thinking the same.’ He turned to the Professor. ‘What about you, Prof?’ he said. Professor Dunne stiffened slightly before relaxing. It would be extremely rude to take an elderly American to task for being over-familiar while he was driving down a motorway at 120 kilometres per hour. Despite her annoyance even the Professor felt that this would be going a step too far. ‘I could eat,’ she said instead. ‘I could probabl...
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Experiments in Independent Publishing – ‘FREE #VIRO Amazon Kindle Downloads’ – GET YOURS NOW

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‘I absolutely loved this book. Powerful and poignant, ‘Viro’ packs a punch. Sad and haunting, ‘Viro’ is a new take on the zombie genre.The characters are dynamic and interesting, finding strength despite their horrifying circumstances. Jake is a character that will stick with you long after the final page. The action sequences are thrilling. I was on the edge of my seat!’ Experiments in Independent Publishing What started as an experiment in independent publishing has led to Book One in the VIRO series currently sitting at Number One in the Amazon charts. Book One has occupied this position for most of the Summer and from June 6th when the experiment started until today there have been 589 d...
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Terminal Transit, Book I, ‘The Song of the NotBeSpeak,’ Verse 5


Terminal Transit, Book I, ‘The Song of the NotBeSpeak,’ Verse 5   ‘Your father told me that he had uncovered something so terrible that it meant the end of all existence as we know and understand it,’ said Mac as he rummaged among the folders on the top shelf. Mac pulled an envelope from the folder, opened it and pulled out a single sheet of paper. ‘Here it is,’ he said to himself. Mac slipped his glasses on and started reading. ‘The NotBeSpeak will not be spoken of. They are the space between the words. Not the words themselves. The pause before the sentence. The sigh that follows. The NotBeSpeak are ancient. Timeless. Dangerous. Alien. The NotBeSpeak are shapeless. Always shifting. Driftin...
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Terminal Transit, Book III ‘The Free State of Phoenix’

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Hi Everyone With the Papal visit rapidly upon us this weekend, I thought I would share the section of Terminal Transit where Dublin’s Phoenix Park is taken over by a group of cosmically-inspired malcontents and declared a free state. Terminal Transit, Book III ‘The Free State of Phoenix’ Verse 1 It all began with the plumes of black smoke that started to be seen in the vicinity of the zoo, plumes of black smoke bearing pink feathers that caught on the evening breeze and fell gracefully to earth across the puzzled city. A delegation of city officials and armed officers were despatched to investigate and discovered that the zoo was now under the control of an army of squatters, refugees, the h...
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Terminal Transit, Book IV ‘The Million’

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Hi Everyone Here’s another excerpt from Terminal Transit. An elderly academic uncovers a cosmic plot engineered by the NotBeSpeak, a race of intergalactic entities who wish to destroy the world. With only a young child to help him, the two race against time to save the planet from oblivion. In this chapter, the dread influence of the NotBeSpeak causes havoc on the streets of Dublin. Terminal Transit, Book IV ‘The Million’ The repercussions of the liberation of the zoo shook the city for days afterwards but before anyone was able to properly settle a further cosmic tragedy took place when the now-doubled presence of the NotBeSpeak caused Glasnevin Cemetery to give back all those who had ever ...
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Terminal Transit, Chapter II ‘A New Signal,’ Verse 1 [Work in Progress]

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Terminal Transit, Chapter II ‘A New Signal,’ Verse 1 [Work in Progress] Priory Hall. Two words that stand as a simple testament to an ignorant nation’s stupid, craven greed – that special kind of breathtakingly galling greed reserved for the self-appointed nobility of this ridiculous island; the bankers and builders and business leaders and breakers and burglars and broadsiders and backsliders and bastards and bollox and buffoons and landlords and layabouts and kiters and cutpurses and swindlers and sweat drippers and debt collectors and drubbers and tally men and tossers and sewage hounds and arse lickers and no-gooders and politicians and pie-dippers and chancers and swindlers and shitflic...
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Terminal Transit, Verse 1 – Work in Progress

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Hi Everyone Here’s the opening chapter of Terminal Transit, a novel I have been working on for a while. Terminal Transit tells the story of an ancient race of evil gods called the NotBeSpeak who are hell-bent on destroying the world. Their evil purpose is discovered by an elderly academic called Professor Amhalgaidh Mac an Bhaird who charges a young child called Inteachán to help him try and save the planet from total and utter destruction. Terminal Transit is set in Dublin, Ireland and the story is interwoven with Irish myth, history and religion resulting in a novel that is a compelling blend of HP Lovecraft and Tomb Raider. I’m posting the first few chapters over the coming days with a vi...
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The Entry Word 1.13

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‘Backwards,’ declares Jodocus Meaddowcraft. ‘Backwards now world-spinning. All progress halt. New histories writing.’ His voice is a terrible one, all wrath and gritty. ‘Not resting us ‘til world back beginning spin at start once more.’ Bartholomaus Hamson, Einav Dionisii, Mally Jaqueminet, Agatho Wagner, and Husniya Hindge agree. ‘My plan,’ crows Jodocus Meaddowcraft to the weary Assembly. ‘My heart-hope all ambition decided.’ Jodocus Meaddowcraft raises himself to a height hitherto not imagined and looms large across the floor of the UN Building. ‘My palace now begone foul fellows flee!!!!’ The delegates scattered with a mixture of fear for the future and relief from the experience. Origin...
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The Entry Word 1.12

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Husniya Hindge is twin and has an arm as long as a leg and a leg as long as an arm and no-one can be truly sure of her outlines as Husniya Hindge shimmers psychosuggestively to cause a distinct mental uncertainty among all of those unlucky enough to meet her. Imagine being defined by a vagueness. Then imagine that vagueness being further defined by yet more vagary and bewilderness. Husniya Hindge is also exceedingly open-minded and this only adds to the difficulties she presents to any dimension upon which she materializes. Original link
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The Entry Word 1.11

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Agatho Wagner is a proud-strutting myriapod full of mathematical magnificence expressed physically as troubling angles and lines. Resplendent. Repugnatorial. Agatho takes the utmost pleasure in obnoxion and fully appreciates the disgust by which he is defined across the varied planes. Agatho does not ever speak but writes instead long missives in a tiny hand with a fine-feathered quill and leaves them on the floor for you to try and avoid reading. Don’t ever read them on pain of death. Original link
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The Entry Word 1.10

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With a stench from beyond space and time Mally Jaqueminet appears. She is wreathed in rotting weeds. ‘Nihil her thing best,’ says Jodocus Meaddowcraft. ‘See shining eye danger her facing you. Malingering. Moody. Malevolent. Malicious. Magnificent. Murderous. Mean. Malodorous.’ Mally bows lows to the watching world. Jodocus Meaddowcraft continues. ‘Calamitous. Deadly. Dire. Noxious. Pernicious. Ruinous. Sinister. Threatening. Venomous. Vindictive. Woeful.’ Thesauritical in his approach, Jodocus Meaddowcraft delights in introducing the world to his world. Original link
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The Entry Word 1.9

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Another appears. Bulbous. Slime-lined. Mollusc. ‘Einav Dionisii,’ waves Jodocus Meaddowcraft. ‘Wrong all do. Evil only evil only ever.’ Einav clears his throat and begins to speak like the discord of a rusty orchestra. ‘More more agathokakological, gathered ones. A-G-A-T-H-O-K-A-K-O-L-O-G-I-C-A-L. Mainly leaning one way and then other but balanced overall.’ Jodocus Meaddowcraft begs to differ. ‘Balance not. Balance not.’ When Einav Dionisii smiles the world feels just a bit more glum. ‘Disagreatum est, felice! Disagreatum.’ Jodocus Meaddowcraft doesn’t approve of disagreement and demonstrates his disapproval by deigning to smile. ‘Not cross me, Bulbo! Not no never now!’ Save Original link
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The Entry Word 1.8

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‘Here Bartholomaus Hamson introducing,’ says Jodocus Meaddowcraft. ‘Lieutenant. Sidekick. Limb.’ Bartholomaus Hamson is an ugly brute of a manstrosity. ‘Herds Bartholomaus Hamson the Unslept,’ continues Jodocus Meaddowcraft. ‘Guidance divining crowd control.’ Bartholomaus Hamson offers his sleaziest of smiles. ‘Grin on, fine friend,’ says Jodocus Meaddowcraft. ‘Planet now feeling fear and not happiness.’ Bartholomaus Hamson begins to shuffle inconveniently and though the world could never know this is Bartholomaus Hamson expressing his joy at arriving through spontaneous dance. His dermatitis skin forms new flabs and folds and flakes as Bartholomaus gathers an unseemly pace. Original link
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The Entry Word 1.7

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The next morning. ‘I am obtuse from now forever,’ declares Jodocus Meaddowcraft. ‘We have seen enough of your foolish world to be anything other than annoyed for having been summoned through your stupidity.’ Jodocus smiles. ‘Furthermore, you will now find it hard to understand me when I speak.’ Another smile. ‘But just before that happens just always know that I only have your worst interests at heart. There can never be doubt with this.’ Jodocus Meaddowcraft clicks his fingers. ‘Sense now over gone forever hard speaking me confusion reigns misunderstanding.’ Original link
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The Entry Word 1.6

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‘There is a multitude of us,’ says Jodocus Meaddowcraft. ‘One after the other and then the next again forever now. More than you can count.’ ‘Behold the Unslept’ says Jodocus Meaddowcraft, pointing at the screen. ‘See how they play.’ Jodocus laughs. ‘Each one summoned by a mistyped search.’ The Assembly looks and what it sees chills to the bone. A hundred thousand million figures in perpetual tortured motion; fighting and climbing and dancing and jumping, in gangs and alone, all moving forever. The image is grainy but there was no doubt as to what the world is seeing, the end of itself. They begin materializing. All the shapes and sizes you can imagine. Many you cannot hope to. Original link
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The Entry Word 1.5

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‘I bet you don’t even know what I am?’ Jodocus Meaddowcraft continues. ‘Saint? Resurrect? Alien? Visitor? Deity? Destroyer? Saviour? Traveller?’ No one knows what to say to Jodocus Meaddowcraft. Advice is sought but not provided. ‘No whispering,’ whispers Jodocus Meaddowcraft loudly as delegates confer. ‘Do not talk amongst yourselves any longer. Only to me with the conditions I have outlined.’ Jodocus Meaddowcraft looks around. ‘This building is about to be off-limits to you all so please get ready to leave straightaway.’ Original link
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The Entry Word 1.4

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‘I don’t know what I want with you yet,’ says Jodocus Meaddowcraft to the General Assembly of the United Nations. ‘You brought me here and I haven’t had time to formulate a plan.’ All languages at once are heard true in his ear. Only the world cannot hear each other. ‘You gathered people are right to be afraid because it was a terrible idea to wake me up and get me here from there. A terrible idea.’ The Assembly have no words. ‘I will take petitions like a king from old. You may visit me in my court. I will accept tributes of all and every kind. I will read four letters a day but only if they are handwritten. Be there in person and be prepared to wait for a long time.’ Jodocus Meaddowcraft t...
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